"I don't persay have a Valentine's Day Horror Story. Even the year I gloriously dubbed Valentine's Day "Venerial Day", it wasn't horrific or awful or anything of the sort. As a matter of fact, I've never even had a "Venerial Disease" and with my green card in hand, I was certainly socially pardoned for making such a statement. But 2008 is a brand new year. And me, myself, and Irena are quickly approaching the dreaded day living with... (drumroll, please) my ex-husband! Yes... I am 25 and divorced and the mother of a beautiful little girl. After two years of being divorced and sharing custody, I decided that "sharing" wasn't the name of my game, so my ex-husband and I decided to move in together for our daughter's benefit. So, as far as Valentine's Day horror stories go, I'm quite sure that this one will be it, and that I will probably top whatever it is that the rest of our society may spew up here. What makes me so certain? For starters, this man and I have absolutely zero sexual contact, and even five months later, he still doesn't stop asking "when" it will happen. The fact that I frequently respond with "please go and get it elsewhere" doesn't change the fact that he is still home every day playing video games... yes... video games... and practicing his social skills through a handy little contraption called "a headset". So... here it is, February 5th, 9 days until impact, and even though I will be the first to scream "This isn't a real Holiday!" at the top of my lungs, tradition and basic human instinct to love and breed make me feel somewhat sad that I will be spending this fancy little day pretending to be sleeping while listening to my ex-husband scream "Shoot behind the tank!!!" in the other room. No, it isn't a real holiday, but we as the human species have successfully managed to make it such far beyond what I think to be our best ability. And though I could very well choose to deny it, I do know that I will spend at least a moment trying to battle the desire to feel and love and lust and glow in the glory of it all while I'm laying there in bed listening to grown children play and coupled cars drive by."
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